Christmas

In this Christmas night, I had my dinner with my father and brother.

This is the first course. It's salad as the appetizer. We used the Italian sauce as the dressing.

This is the second course. It's fried drumstick as the side dish.

This is the third course. It's lamb chop with mashed potato as the main course.

This is the fourth course. It's my homemade cookies as the dessert. I made this myself.

It was a nice dinner.

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I feel so tired... Feel like want to die.

I feel like don't want to live anymore.

So tired... So tired...

If isn't for Prunus' sake, I won't live from the beginning...

Last night, I dreamed I was about to bite by a vampire.

I thought I can bear the pain, but i refused to being bitten.

What's wrong with me? Why am I afraid of it?

I am suppose to be very happy, bitten by a vampire.

What am I afraid of? The teeth? The pain? Or immortality?

Maybe I wasn't ready to be a monster.

I don't feel cherish this Christmas.

After I met with humans yesterday, I feel want to die more than ever.

I am not a happy girl.

I am not satisfy with my condition, my life, my fate.

I thought I used to be positive.

But now, I can't do it.

Maybe everyone thinks I am weird, I don't care about it.

Life is hard.

Yeah, life should be hard.

If there's a chance for me to leave this world,

to live alone, to forget this world,

even that means I have to leave my family and friends behind,

I will definitely go for it...